Question to ask when first dating
Why: You likely have a preference one way or the other. However it's good to know what you're getting yourself in for before you start to get attached to someone. Why: Do they spend a lot of money or time collecting something? The answers to the above questions aren't necessarily deal breakers.Or maybe they don’t care much about their job at all, because work is something they just do to fund their personal life.In any case, you want to get a sense for how much work factors into a person’s life pretty early on.Find out early if there are reasons that “making it work” will be fraught. Select a few of these questions rather than attempt to ask them all on the same first date! For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time. If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you'll know the person sees the glass as half empty. Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Why: If one of you doesn't like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that's likely to be a problem. Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn't directly about them. Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings. We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic.
It also shows they have ambition, which, if that’s what you're into, is great!Is the second date going to be at like, PM because they have to squeeze in a workout the next day, or can you chill and talk till like 3 AM without fear you’re hindering sleep?It's not the biggest hurdle to overcome, but it's nice to get a sense of if your general lifestyles match up.If he can’t be motivated to GAF about his own life and get a job, how is he going to have the emotional bandwidth to support you?This might seem basic, but the answer can reveal a lot about a person’s personality type.