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Some lesbians use dildos for penetration; others do not, preferring fingers, hands, fists, tongues.
However, culturally, we refer to a very particular sexual act—penis in vagina—as, simply, sex.
Lesbians must contend with a male-centered view of what they would or should want if they met the right man.
Bisexual and straight women also suffer when their sexuality is continuously placed in scenarios in which it exists only for heterosexual men’s pleasure.
(This may be particularly true for women, who have been told that their virginity confirms their virtue.) Recall then-president Bill Clinton’s infamous assertion, during the scandal over Monica Lewinsky, that he “did not have sex with that woman.” Clinton’s hairsplitting legalism was made possible because the sex in question was oral sex.
In this hierarchy of sexual acts, heterosexual genital intercourse sits at the top.
The distorting effects of these fantasies do not shape all of us with equivalent force.Sexual fantasies can be powerful and important, and pornography—like many other forms of representation—is a vehicle for sexual fantasizing.However, there is a potential problem when fantasy bodies and acts are accepted by large numbers of people to be the truth about what a lesbian is and what all women really want. It does not acknowledge the diversity of ways women have sex with one another or the variety of female bodies.A scene of two women kissing—increasingly common on mainstream television in shows such as —is often used to add titillation to an otherwise mundane plot.As long as the women involved are conventionally pretty and feminine, this lesbianism is safe and sexy for prime-time viewing.