Should an introvert dating an extrovert
“And one introvert I spoke to for the book whose relationship had just ended badly pointed out that if she had brought him around her friends instead of keeping the relationship all introverted, her friends might have spotted the potential problems before she did and helped her see them before she was in too deep,” says Dembling.
You may have to work harder to spend time together.
If he’s the yin to your yang, there’s a good chance you are partnered with your exact opposite.
In the beginning, this introvert-extrovert connection is delightful as you experience an attitude different from your own.
One of the biggest challenges is to balance your need for time alone with your extrovert’s innate need to socialize.
“Sometimes it’s hard for extroverts to understand that you don’t need quiet time to get away from them, but because you need quiet time. Not getting enough solitude might cause tension in your relationship.
“The independence of introverts can backfire if you both become so independent that you start running on parallel tracks, spending much of your time pursuing individual interests and fun, and letting togetherness take a backseat,” writes Dembling.
It’s easy to take these differences personally or think your mate is just being difficult. It wasn’t until we began traveling the world together in 2010 – working, traveling, and being together 24/7 – that we learned the lessons it might have taken us years to notice and absorb in our old lifestyle.But be wary if you’re losing touch with your social circle.If nothing else, says Dembling, if the relationship goes south, you’ll want to have friends you can lean on.One way to avoid this is to take turns “playing the extrovert”—one of you takes charge, plans the date, and motivates the other person to go.If there’s already someone at home, it’s easy to blow off friends and stay in.
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Your extrovert is probably skilled at meeting and connecting with people, which means you’ll benefit, too. Your extrovert will stir you from your cozy introvert cocoon at home and get you to experience life in a way you may never have experienced on your own. An extrovert can get things out on the table for discussion, you can bring analysis and nuance to the discussion,” writes Dembling. Extroverts excel at articulating their thoughts (sometimes, to the chagrin of introverts, every thought that crosses their mind, no matter how seemingly insignificant — a sort of running commentary on life).